The world we live in today freaks me out. I am not used to all of the unrest. I am normally a happy person, who loves life, and I look forward to each new day, and each new experience, that may come my way. People intrigue me, but at this point in my life, I let very few in. I am very particular.
As I reflect on my life, I realize how much I miss my family members, that are no longer here. The holidays are rough. When I was a child, weekends used to last forever. There wasn't much to do back then. Most places were closed on Sunday. How I wish I could go back and relive those boring days.
One day, I woke up and wondered what happened. I never used to think about life. I was too busy living it. The years went by in a blink. My children are grown and live out of town. I am lucky to have an amazing husband and a Pooh, that loves me up everyday.
There is a content and an unrest that are nondescript. There is a maturity, wisdom and innocence that only comes with, dare I say age. I am different, I have changed. I feel I am, my better self. I am so much more passionate. I say what I feel. I feel so deeply. I feel blessed. Things that used to bother me, mean nothing anymore. New things bother me, that never used too. I feel a special unity with the universe. I feel things people would never understand. I feel and experience things I don't understand. Sometimes it scares me and I try and walk away, but I can't. I think we all have psychic ability, but not all of us are tuned in.
For me I have learned there are various types of love. There is the most special/sacred love and trust of your husband, wife or significant other. There is the love of your family. There is the love of your pet/Pooh. There is the luv of a friend. The luv of a Buddy. Perhaps even, the luv of a stranger. All love/luv is not the same. Some people fear the word, and I feel sorry for them. They spend their life closed, afraid to let themselves experience those pleasureful moments, someone new may bring.
When I was very young, I used to look in the mirror and go through this whole trip. I would look at the person starring back and think, you're you, but who are you? Why am I here, how did I get here, and what is my purpose? It was a very intense trip, and I am glad I outgrew it.
I think you get to a point in your life where you question. There is so much I don't understand. There are so many questions, that will never be answered. I always felt I would live forever. Can't fathom anything else.
Perhaps one day My Peter Pan will come, and take me to Never Neverland! In the meantime, when life gets to you, and you're feeling overwhelmed, the best solution is to eat an eclair. It has to be baked the same day, filled with succulent cream, and topped with sweet thick chocolate!
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